Turkey Discussion Forum

Discussions regarding holidays in Turkey.
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My daughter has just become engaged to a very nice Turkish man,
They are planning to get married next year, would love to hear from anyone with experience of this, what are the laws, customs ?
If they decide to live in Turkey, what is expected of her, I know every one is different, can't generalize, any info will be very welcome, many thanks Joan
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K2003 is married to a turkish guy. Maybe she can answer you. It's complicated, you have to have a certificate of non-impediment from UK, have blood tests, get licences and all sorts. If she plans to live in Turkey it depends if it is tourist life or village life. You do not have to convert to marry. A marriage in a mosque is not a legal international marriage.

You get a red marriage book. Any children born in turkey who are boys will have to do national service. I don't think you get automatic ciitzenship.

I would ask her not to rush into this, the cultural difffences are enormous, but there are lots of success stories. Resort life is hard work.

there is a msn group englishgirlfriends ofturkish men... perhaps she should join in?
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Hi,

I'm married to a Turkish national too, we married in Bodrum in 2002.
All your daughter needs from the UK before getting married is her full birth certificate (not the shortened version), her passport, and her certificate of non-impediment, which she gets from the registrar where she lives in the UK. Does she live in England or Wales? If so, there is no time limit on using her certificate of non-impediment once she gets it. The rules are different if she lives in Scotland.

When the time comes to arrange her marriage in Turkey, she should get her fiance to go to the registrar at the Belediye office where they intend getting married. There he will be given full instructions on what paperwork is required to get married. She will have to have blood tests in Turkey just before the wedding date, she will also have to go to the British embassy near where she intends getting married to have her paperwork translated officially into Turkish. It must be done at the British Embassy, it may not be accepted if its done anywhere else.

What else? Her blood tests (and those of her fiance) will have to be authorised, her translated papers will have to be countersigned, and they will both need about 6-8 passport sized photographs. Warn her to do her hair and make-up for these photos, as one of them will be permanently fixed into her marriage book (the Turkish version of a marriage certificate).

If your daughter intends living in Turkey after her marriage, she will need to apply for residency. This is no longer automatic on marriage - it stopped in 2002. She cannot apply for Turkish citizenship either on marriage, she will need to be married for at least 3 years and be able to speak Turkish to apply for that. This means that if she wants to work in Turkey after her marriage, she will also have to apply for a work permit, or have her employer apply for one for her. These are not that easy to attain, as her employer has to be able to show that the job your daughter is doing, is not one a Turkish person could do.

The actual paperwork for the marriage in Turkey can all be got within 2-3 (very stressful) days. You run from here to there getting various bits of paper stamped and countersigned, then present them all back to the registrar at the Belediye.

Tell her Good Luck from me, and practice counting to 10!

Elaine
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Oh yes,
And the cost of all these various bits of paper, plus travel to the British embassy etc (we had to go to Izmir when we married in Bodrum), Belediye fees etc will run to about £300. Thats without dresses, suits, flowers, party/reception costs, cars etc. However, the cost of all these wedding bits are less in Turkey than they are in the UK.

As far as customs etc are concerned, the absolutely best people to be asking this is your future son-in-law and his family. Talk to them about what they expect from a wife/daughter-in-law. And then your daughter can decide if thats a life which will fulfil her.

Personally, we live in the UK. We don't really do much that is Turkish, our daughter has a Turkish name, thats about it really. My husband is not at all religious, and neither am I, so we don't really have clashes of that nature. Clashes of culture need to be worked on, as obviously these are deeply ingrained in both of us, coming from completely different backgrounds.
Marriage is difficult in the first couple of years anyway, add cross-cultural issues and it becomes doubly so. Your daughter and her husband will BOTH need a lot of patience, and that ability to talk to, and listen to each other's point of view. Your future son-in-law will not always be right, neither will your daughter. If they both remember that they fell in love with the person their partner is at THIS moment in time, therefore they shouldn't try and change them into someone else, then they should get through and come out the other side of settling into a new life together.

Sorry for the rant, but as perfume says, its a huge decision to make, with extra pressures compared to a same-culture marriage. If I had my time again, I'd still marry my husband though :D .

Elaine
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Thankyou for your replys, YES will most certainly have discussions with parents and future son in law, only just found out about engagement Monday when my daughter returned from Turkey, as you say marriage is give and take on both sides especially with different cultures, it has to be worked at.
His family are educated, from Izmir,both happy with the engagement, except his Mum who thinks he will want to live in England and she wont see him much, but thats Mums the world over, he is not planning to stay in England so it will be the other way around.
Lucky for me and husband we love Turkey and its people, but understand living there and visiting are totally different, every thing has its down side.
Love and Happiness, Joan
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Hiya Joan
Congratulations on your daughters engagement.Im going to be getting married next year to my turkish man in about October time.Elaine has giving you very goo info there everything you need to know,there is a lot of running about to do but everything will be worth it on the big day.I cant wait for my special day,ive been trying on wedding dresses and theres so many lovely ones i get stuck,i tell my boyfriend everytime ive been trying on dresses,he says joanne you can only wear 1 you try on to many haha bless him.Im planning on a big wedding in Icmeler,getting married on a boat during day then have big party for all family and friends in one of the 5* hotels on beach front.Things will be different as of different cultures,but you both have to work hard at the relationship and make it work,and it does do there are lots of happy english/turkish couples.Im a member of a very well known group which has loads of great advice for all visas,weddings,general posts,guys in the army everything,all the girls on there are all going through what your daughter is (i take shes here and she goes over to see him) if you want i will send you the address(i will pm you)as i might get done for advertising groups. so she can take a look at the site there are many happy stories and some that havent worked out but she will gain lots of info.
let me know if you want it.
hope all turns out great for your daughter,they sure know how to party the turks so get your dancing shoes on for the wedding there is loads of dancing :D
love joanne xx
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Thank you Joanne, yes please pm me with site, he is in Icmeler, so daughter goes to see him there.
All the best for your BIG DAY, Joan
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I'm a British man married to a Turkish wife, we married in 2000 in Istanbul, we now live in Dalyan but we spent the 1st part of our lives together in the UK.

Just two things to add, if she wants to take Turkish nationality then yes she needs to be married 3 years but there is no requirement for language above the very basics.

If she later has kids and they have Turkish nationality (if born in UK is an option, if born in Turkey automatic) a foreign parent cannot take their kids out of the country without a written and notarised agreement from the Turkish parent, in my opinion worth doing early just in case things go bad, I have.
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Thank you Dalyan resident, good advice.
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Hi Joan, I've replied to your PM but I think that Elaine has just about covered everything you need to know.

We managed to get our paperwork done in a couple of days, although one day was a public holiday so everything was closed and the next day was a major panic, so I would suggest that your daughter goes over to Turkey well in advance of her wedding to make sure that everything is done before the big day. I didn't have to have any blood tests done before my wedding, but it does depend on where you get married and what way the wind is blowing - don't laugh, this is important in Turkey!!

My husband and I were married in an office at the local council (very romantic!) and then the next day we had a big party when I wore my dress and everyone danced the night away.

As Elaine, my husband and I aren't religious at all, which is good because he could test the patience of a saint sometimes. Yes it's hard, but aren't all marriages? They need to be worked at and sometimes the cultural differences show but most things are the same here and there. Make sure your daughter puts her foot down in the first place as once she's given him an inch, they will take the proverbial mile! My husband knows that chores around the house are shared and that I won't run around after him like his mum used to, then again she's at home all day whereas I've got a full time job.

Like Elaine, given the choice I would marry my husband again!
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Hi,

I just wondered if anyone has got married or seen any weddings at the Turkey Holiday Village? I understand they have an area on site for wedding ceremonies.

We are planning to get married abroad next May/June (08) and our children will be 2 and 3, so we are looking for somewhere to stay where there will be lots for the kids. We arent worried about a plush, fairytale wedding but also dont want it to be naff!

We are also thinking about Rhodes or Cyprus and finding it very difficult to find a place with loads for the kids thats very near somewhere we can get married!

I can see from the pegasus palace post that this village is highly recommended, i just really need to know what the wedding part is like?

Thanks

Z
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i got married in turkey 18 mths ago at lykia world,fantastic place, the best place for kids if i can help let me know
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I second Ellie's suggestion. Your kids would love it there and its definately not naff.
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Hi,

I saw a couple of weddings at the Pegasos Palace/Tropical (now known as Holiday Village Turkey) the twice I was there last year. I also spoke to parents of a wedding couple and they said they had all really enjoyed it.

Its held in a wooden gazebo type thing in the middle of the spa gardens and it is quite pretty. If you go to the photos section on here there are a few pics of it and actually a couple of pictures of a couple getting married.

Best of luck, whatever you decide.

HTH

C xxx
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Hi,

Ive booked my wedding at the Hoilday Village for Sept 07. But i am now in two minds, having to travel to the British consulate (10 hour round trip)
and blood test etc.

It seems easier to get married in Cyprus. But I went to the Holiday Village last year and we had a fantastic time, and the wedding gazebo looked lovely, thats why we want to get wed there, plus the fact that we are travelling with lots of children in our party and I know they we love it there too.

So I really dont know what to do for the best. There is also alot of hidden costs such as £130 for the taxi fare to the consulate. It seems alot of hassle to go to for a 10 minute ceremony.

Also, while I was there last year my daughter has her hair done by the hairdresser, the braids fell out within a day and when I went to find the hairdresser to tell her she was actually working in the rug shop and wasnt even a hairdresser. So I am worrying about how my hair will look on the day because judging by my daughters I think I wont be using the hotels hairdresser. I know I am worrying over silly things but I do want the wedding day to go without any problems.

Becci
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bubble you dont need blood tests if marrying another brit, but you will need to pop to the medical office and just say youre well and get a cert and thats it. we went on a separate holiday 10 wks before the wedding to sort the antalya paperwork out, much better idea, it was well worth it if you can
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Hi,

Unfortunatley our budget cant allow us to go over to Turkey before the wedding. So everthing has to be sorted out the first week we are there.

But its good news on the blood test, but I wish it didnt cost so much for things like a translater and documents etc. I decide if I should keep to the original plan and get married at the Holiday village or change it all together and go for a Cyprus wedding, which actually is cheaper and alot less bother but all my guests would love to go to Turkey.
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we didnt have to pay for a translator either , as the hotel manager did it for us, maybe someone at pegasos might offer, its certainly loads cheaper than getting married in the uk never mind the better weather and lovely scenery
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Bubble,

First of all congratulations on your wedding! I hope you have a fantastic day!

I can understand why you are concerned about the consulate trip and I won't hide the fact that it will be a long day for you. Depending on the people who accompany you there (driver/translator/guide/wedding planner) the day would either go very smoothly and quickly or it could be a bit of a nightmare if they don't really know what they are doing. It would take a little less that 10 hours though, more like 8 hours in total I would say..

Unfortunately there is no way of avoiding this if you wish to have a civil ceremony in Turkey. However, when my clients get so put off by the idea of the consulate trip and / or blood tests (it doesn't matter if you are marrying a brit, some registrars would still ask you to get the actual tests done) I suggest they have a registry office ceremony before they leave the UK just so that by the time they are in Turkey they will be legally married and have a blessing in Turkey instead. This would be practically hassle free as you would not have any paperwork or blood tests to worry about, and less expensive if you consider the fees charged by the consulate and blood tests / medicals. The ceremony itself would be longer than the Turkish civil ceremony and it would be more like what you would be used to having back at home.

Don't get me wrong, I would rather have all my clients and other couples getting married in Turkey have their civil ceremony in Turkey so that their "first" wedding ceremony will be the one that they have in Turkey, and they will have the short but authentic Turkish ceremony but if the procedure and the expenses included are putting you off so much, I would rather suggest a blessing (if you are religious) / symbolic ceremony (if you are not religious) than let this change your plans altogether.

I hope you can relax and actually enjoy planning your wedding soon! :)
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