Trip to Krakow: 3 - 7 May 2010

Edited highlights of this report (for those who cannot face reading it) would be:

Eat chocolate in Wedel's at the main Square
Learn the words for "big beer please"
Eat Polish food
Do not go to Zakopane in the fog, or with anyone who asks if you would like to see a church
Stop often for cake

Monday 3 May

Easyjet flight from Edinburgh was bang on time and took 2.5 hours. Quickly through the baggage hall and walked to the train stop. Trains run each half hour and cost 8zl. Be very aware if you are not too tall that when the train arrives at the platform in the city centre you have a significant jump (or undignified struggle) on to the platform from the train - the platform is really high in relation to the train - my poor friend who is only 5 foot was almost left behind!

Got a taxi to the hotel in the Jewish Quarter - Aparthotel Spatz - booked through Travel Republic at a great price. The hotel was excellent in all respects - I have done a review, and would recommend.

We know the area having stayed in the same street last year, so wandered out to have a look round Corpus Christi Church and the courtyard which features in Schindler's list, which now has a bar and restaurant in it. Went to the main Jewish Square - ul Szeroka and as it was warm enough to sit outside, we had a couple of drinks at Ester.

We ate that night at Pasika (Honey Pub) in ul Miodowa - they do good oscypek (ewe's milk cheese) with cranberries. Food was not expensive, wine was a little pricey at 65zl, but we were on holiday, and we really like this place.

Tuesday 4 May

Headed out after breakfast and the first stop was the Old Synagogue in ul Szeroka -the oldest synagogue in Poland. It has some interesting exhibitions and a nicely stocked little bookshop. 8zl entry and an extra 10zl if you want to take pictures.

Next on the agenda was the Galicia Jewish Museum in ul Dawor, the street parallel to ul Szeroka. This is an excellent place, with a permanent photographic exhibition called Traces of Memory: beautiful pictures of Krakow and some haunting ones of ruined buildings and the camps. There is a very good media resource room where you can watch short films, and listen to Holocaust survivor testimonies on individual pcs. Time for a break, and, although it was chilly, we sat outside Ariel restaurant and had hot chocolate and apple cake.

Next we headed to the Remuh synagogue across the road which was very small and appeared to be under renovation. Not much to see inside, but I was here particularly to see the attached cemetery and the wailing wall created from broken tombstones which had been uncovered and salvaged for the wall. I was shocked to see how overgrown and uncared for the cemetery was - nettles and weeds almost waist high in some places, but the wall had interesting fragments.

Left here and went to the Popper Synagogue to see the mural and then headed to the Ethnographical museum on Plac Wolnica. I loved it here and thought the whole place was well thought out, with rooms from rural Poland re-created and a special exhibition of dowry chests which were beautiful. There were laminated notes in each room in English which were helpful.

Another cake stop was required, so we went to Café Mlynek which I believe is the only vegetarian café in Krakow which serves alcohol. We sat inside and it was very quaint and dark, with a real bohemian atmosphere. Had some chocolate cake, the sauce from which I immediately dribbled on the pretty lace tablecloth and had to hide with a plate until we left.

Full of culture, we retired to the hotel for a drink and later went to dinner at Awiw which has an amazing selection of pierogi (Polish dumplings) - nice to be able to get something veggie in a city full of meat. Also had some barszc (beetroot soup) which came with a "krokiet". I assumed this might be a small potato croquette until it arrived; it looked like something which had been deposited by a large dog, but it was tasty.

Wednesday 5 May- Trip to Zakopane

We booked a trip to Zakopane in the Tatra mountains in Southern Poland via the hotel, and our lovely driver Janusz arrived at 9am informing us that our travelling companions in the people carrier were 5 Saudi Arabian guys. This turned out not to be as bad as I expected, but was probably the only part of the day which was not as bad as I expected"¦

The trip was billed as 7 hours - I was exhausted and near demented on my return to the hotel 10 hours later"¦

The weather was awful - very damp, cold and very, very foggy: a word Janusz loved, and repeated constantly throughout the trip - "very foooogggggyyy today". Yep, we know!! It took 2 hours to get to Zakopane with little to see through the steamed up windows and the fog, and we thought (stupidly as it turns out) that we would have a leisurely look round the town and market, with stops for coffee and perhaps some cake. How very foolish we were: there was a schedule.

Janusz immediately whisked us off to the funicular which would take us up the mountain to Gubalowka. Now I know from pictures that the view from here is fabulous, but we saw absolutely nothing because of the fog. There were lots of stalls up here and deserted restaurants, and very few people. Others who had seen the weather had presumably decided to stay away - how very sensible of them.

Back down on the funicular and we were shepherded off to a museum, which was pretty poor. No, actually it was awful. Now maybe I was "museumed out" after the previous day, but I still wouldn't recommend the Tatra museum to anyone unless they had a love of fossilised leaves, strange looking hunting implements, oh, and bears.

Surely we would stop now? Janusz had to be persuaded that we could be trusted to go for a coffee without him - we really wanted to get away from "the schedule" and be in the warm, and a café offered a brief respite and good chocolate cake, although we were only allowed 30 minutes for this.

Janusz was on a mission, and we had to go to see a church. Ok, it was a nice wooden church, and we went to the attached cemetery which actually had lots of interesting stones etc, but which was unfortunately only allocated 3.5 minutes in his schedule. Off he strode, back into town where he allowed us 15 minutes in the market. By this point I would rather have stayed in the cemetery.

Where to next, we asked, and surprise, surprise it was on to another church - this time in the woods AND up a hill. It looked like Norman Bates' house in Pyscho and we were there for ages -the Saudis wanted to play chase in the woods -we wanted to get back to the car"¦. Our relief on returning to the car was short lived - Janusz only drove 100 metres and we were out again: this time to walk in the National Park.

So, 4pm, drizzle, so much fog you can hardly see in front of you and a forest that looks like a lot of Scotland - I failed to see the point. But we gritted our teeth and walked aimlessly as instructed - wet feet, messy hair, fed up and desperate to get back to the hotel. (should I ever go on a trip like this again I will be much less accommodating, and will demand many coffee and cake stops).

After what seemed like an eternity, he rounded up the lads who were scaring him by pretending to fall off logs into the river and we thought great - we're going back to the hotel. I did say to my friend at this point "if he takes us to another church I will stab him. But he wouldn't do that, would he? We'll be going back to Krakow now, won't we?" I sounded a bit pathetic and whiny at this point, I have to admit.

If only"¦ but no, that would have been too simple. He had to show us, just for a change, another church!!! This one had been built to honour the Pope after the assassination attempt on him, but quite frankly I was past caring (and the toilets were the worst I have experienced in Poland - including those at the airport).

Surely this was it"¦.but no, I hadn't realised that I would ever in my life need to see a ski jump (actually couldn't see it in the fog, but I believe I have been at the base of one now) or a street with wooden houses - seen one, seen ‘em all, that's what I say. Up and down tracks, and bad roads, windows all steamed up again - it was like some hideous nightmare.

Eventually Janusz announced it was time to return to the hotel - I nearly hugged him. I fell asleep, or into some church-overload coma, in the car. Janusz was finally stopped from giving us ski jumping statistics when one of the lads started feeding him biscuits and his mouth was full.

When we finally got back to the hotel I was like the Pope when he arrives somewhere and kisses the tarmac - I could hardly believe that the ordeal was finally over. I virtually ran to my room, poured myself a large vodka and collapsed on my bed, near gibbering and vowing never, ever to go there again (at least not with Janusz).

We ate in Manzana - the Mexican restaurant attached to the hotel which did really good nachos (not very Polish) and then sat drinking mojitos to rid us of the memory of the day. I think I was dreaming of wooden churches when I staggered to my bed"¦

Thursday 6 May

Our last full day, and more rain. Brollies out, we headed to the main square - Rynek Glowny, strangely choosing to visit another church in ul Grodzka on the way. The square was not looking great - it had a bit of an air of gloom and the Cloth Hall was only half open because of renovations. There were no horses and carriages either, and it had looked much nicer in the sunshine last year.

Went to a café called Boogie on ul Tomasza, lured by the Illy coffee sign rather than the name, and stumbled into a darkened room lit by small candles. We looked a little undignified trying to pick our way to a table, but the coffee was strong, the toilet good, and for a change we had no cake!

We walked down Florianska, and had a wander in the Planty, but rain is depressing and it was time for chocolate.

Wedel's chocolate shop in the main square is wonderful, fabulous and every other thing you can think of if you love chocolate. The café is elegant and spacious, with a menu of goodies which really did make us feel like kiddies in a sweet shop.

Fortified, I visited yet another church in the Square, listened to the trumpet from the bell tower and then we went to the lovely ice cream shop in ul Grodzka for a double scoop of gorgeousness. By late afternoon the rain had stopped so we sat outside for a drink, cringing at a horde of descending Americans saying "gee guys - they do waffles!" as if we were in the third world.

Ate in Ariel that evening - a famous Jewish restaurant where the food was wonderful, and the vodka strong. It was packed out - always very popular with tourists.

Later we went to Plac Nowy, which really comes alive at night with great bars, tables outside and a buzzing atmosphere. Had our last drink of the trip, and pondered on our holiday. I was glad I could order a big beer and a donut and say please and thank you in Polish, but for my next visit I plan to learn how to say "No I would rather poke sticks in my eyes than look at wooden churches in the fog thank you!"